Seaton and Syntax

He invites us to play.

J.P Seaton
Bright Moon, White Clouds: Selected Poems of Li Po

I’ve started with a word-for-word, and worked my way toward something that might even enable you to have a go at making your own translation.

I find myself dwelling on “Quiet Night Thoughts”. There is an earlier version in Seaton’s The Shambhala Anthology of Chinese Poetry

Before the bed, bright moonlight.
I took it for frost on the ground.
I raised my head to dream upon that moon,
then bowed my head, lost, in thoughts of home.

There are two later versions in Bright Moon, White Clouds (He has a thoughtful appendix leading to a freer version). I like this one which cleaves closely to the word-for-word.

Before the bed, bright moon light.
I took it for frost on the ground,
I raised my head to think of the moon,
then bowed my head to dream of home.

Taking my cue from him, I proffer Seaton’s version with a slight adjustment to syntax:

Before the bed, bright moon light.
I took it for frost on the ground,
I raised my head to think of the moon,
then, to dream of home, bowed my head.

And so for day 3007
06.03.2015

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