English As She Is Spoke: Selections from The New Guide of the Conversation, in Portuguese and English, in Two Parts, José Da Fonseca & Pedro Carolino, edited by Paul Collines (McSweeney’s Books, 2002) [Originally published in Paris in 1855]
[Carolino] had a serious problem: he didn’t know any English.
Even worse, he didn’t own an English-to-Portuguese dictionary. What he did have, though, was a Portuguese-to-French phrasebook and a French-to-English dictionary. The bizarre linguistic train wreck that ensued […] became celebrated as a bizarre masterpiece of unintentional humour […]
Three of my favourite:
Está crivádo dê dividas.
He is drowned of debts.
[He is riddled with debts.]
* * *
Sínto rumôr.
I understand some noise.
[I hear rumour.]
* * *
Tómo ôu bêbo ún câldo tôdas ás manhãs.
I take a broth all morning.
[I drink broth every morning.]
And so for day 2657
23.03.2014